So here we are, once again delaying the inevitable slap-together rickshaw job of an assignment that I will never get out of doing. But until then, I am here, with my adoring public. Put your hand down Tim, I know your the only one here. Anyway, today I got a nice little invention that allows me to control the subtle annoyance of my computer's noise level. It doesn't bother me, and if it did I'd just put on some headphones and jam away to Dahler Mendhi's newest hit on 97 and one third speed ultra shellac vinyl. This little knob is my path to the domination of the world. How you ask? Well first of all, women love power, because first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women. And I'm pretty sure that a fancy knob to control fan speed is in there somewhere too. And after you have women dancing nakedly around you, you either take over the world, or you don't care, for what other reason could there be to take over the world anyway? Global domination is nothing without ladies, and defiantly Schladiez, the thing is it's sort of like a Catch-22, because you want to rule the world to have Schladiez, but you need them in order to take over the world, and once you have them, why bother? People would just shoot your Schladiez, and your body doubles would probably constantly be sneaking in free lap dances and such. It's just too much of a hassle. I can barely control the world in a game of Risk, let alone three billion men bitching at me about the absence of the other half of the world's population as they take turns dancing around my fancy moon palace made of cheese. Mmmm. The rings of Saturn would probably make good tortillas, so once again, your set.