So now off once again to a adventure into the realms of forgotten realms foregoing women for ale and swag. But by ale, I mean Mountain Dew and by swag I mean little numbers on sheets of paper. I think the fact that I have to correct this so much is because morons in the background looking at tits and talking about videogames barbaric yell, mimicking something that I saw in a movie about some kind of dead poet. Despite the DM's many shortcomings he still remains in the room so as much as I would like to remain here on ruling the many many slaves who randomly sending data pitches themselves died, so it's a lot tidal looking for the minutes furry and everybody can see them to sell their much ladies. I have no idea what that last sentence was, and I apologize to the Internet on the whole. Because my stupid comment is made the Internet more intelligent.

Everyone everyone's mark this down. Today is a day that will go down in infamy. UPS will actually deliver a package. Not only on-time, but early, I know it's pure madness there is definitely something up today, because not only that. I finished a cigarette before someone and that never happens, and UPS sure as hell never delivers early. So if someone would send a message to hell and asked them if their thermostat is on the blink that would be great.

Alright everyone today were more try something different. I recently spent the entire night trying to download some voice-recognition software said today's blog will feature. Lots of spelling mistakes. All the plus side, this means I no longer have to type and can amble around the room randomly while simply talking into this microphone of coarse, everyone else in the room as to shut the hell up. Otherwise, I get all kinds increased mistakes. More than the ones that happened on the route. So I was sitting outside today and I decided I think it would be very nice if I knew how to fly songbird hopper around in the morning sun and giga look. Jump around a little bit, and I'm just took off and owned in a very nice to fly because that I would not to walk anywhere. Offsetting Armstrong of my legs anyway the problem with voice-recognition is what I type I have plenty of time to think of when to say next load with Acer is almost this pressure to keep going. That I distracted the shiny things in room also can watch cartoons the same time. It just makes things that much more difficult. Oh well, at least it was free. As the days go on mild degree of the train this thing enough to at least sound like me. The problem is I don't exactly make coherent sentences on my own. So it's kind of hard to expect the computer to do it for me but I I built this thing and I paid for it to get into whatever the hell I want of course, some of you may be used to the more well edited incorrectly formatted version of the blog. But I think with time will all be used this new thing. Either that or I will get tired of having to correct the software over and over and over again, and a simply give up like freenet. Aaron shut the hell. Now are going to test whether or not spongy bob in the background causes lots of problems. I guess it doesn't he just doesn't know the words sponge. While there you have at the longest blog post, a longtime all thanks to my stupid voice Buckley airs on sleep or he wouldn't be so I guess it's not really a problem with that I leave you to look at birds fly away and be jealous of them, and possibly have cigarette I haven't decided.

So here I sit, the end of another weekend. Hungry, in the dark, playing Unreal Tournament against the computer because the servers are terribly slow, gradually downloading bits and pieces of some speech recognition software so that my craziness can fly at you even faster, but with many more errors. It's a good life. What we need now is for my roommate to come home so I can make him buy me some food. Never thought I'd actually be looking forward to him walking through the door (since usually I narrowly avoid an inopportune moment when he starts unlocking the door), but in this case, it's time to put on a nice puppy face and demand burgers or I will bite him. Excellent. There are no more cold Bawls left, otherwise those could probably keep me entertained for a while, so I guess it's back to comic books for now. That reminds me, My Comic Book Needs Me! Well, at least I need to go there and pick up some stuff, as well as another set of dice, if they tickle my fancy just right. Oh wait, the money thing, right. Oh well.

Hi my name is Charlotte's and I live at Kristen. *gives a crooked smile and wipes nose*

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It has come to my attention that some of you may not be aware of something for the last few posts, from the 13th of March, to the 21st of March, the post times are precisely one hour ahead of when they were posted. Just making sure everyone is on the same page here.
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Sign sign everywhere a sign. Good break all around guys. To my faithful readers, a simple reminder: It's all good. Seriously though, there is a reason I had to come up with such a concrete and well established phrase to show how good everything really is. Because I tried to just say it, but I can't, there simply is no way to say how I really feel, because it is beyond measure. And we all know who I'm talking about, every single one of us. It can be captured in one shot of us heading outside with all of our camping gear, but can't be said in a thousand letters or a million words. It is captured best in the stillness, the look on someone's face, that little glint of understanding in their eyes, that can never, ever be replaced, or forgotten, or extinguished. It will always be there, and so will I. Excellent.

So I was thinking just now, about how much the Grand Canyon isn't such a cool place. I mean, yeah, it's a big frickin canyon, but when you've seen it so many times (I have been there about 12 times, and half of those, where in one year) it just loses it's appeal. I don't know why, but all Germans seem to have heard that Texas was big, and that there was a big canyon around the area as well. That about does it for Southwest lore from Bergnerzell. Anyway, it must be a lot like saving the world. Sure, the first few times you do it it's cool, and you take pictures, and the whole thing takes a few pages to fully resolve itself, but then, around like the fourth or fifth time, it's like a routine. You don't really remember any of it, you wonder why you are doing anything, or even what the bad guy from Tron was called. My point is, the only great thing about that damn canyon is that if you pushed Jacqui off of a couch into it, her ass would still be on that couch for a long time. Damn Gazelbo, those things live in Africa not Arizona. Sure they might like the ice tea at first, but then it's all sticky and there are way too many asian people wandering around getting eaten by the lions that should also be in Africa. Hey, if I can put a gazebo and a gazelle together, and then throw next to whatever canyon I want, or compare them to whoever's ass I want, then I can damn well also put asians inside ice tea bottles.

You know, the last post had a bit of a negative spin to it, and it's amazing how one single night can throw your opinion about a trip into such a complete turnaround. Alright, so first of all, I was already feeling pretty damn awesome, we camped out in the backyard, I got myself a bad haircut, midnight driving is just as easy (just not as cool) in a minivan as with the Jeep. Wait, I take that back. Damn you minivan, your not so mini at all! I also came across a great moment in movie reference history when I realized I could relate an entire movie to a hilarious situation that's been going on for years now. But that is a story for another time, I will leave you with this though:

"Kia not a civil engineer? But maybe a pizzadeliverengineer? What's next, denying that he needs those crutches?"

Also, anyone who is looking for something to do, go find your cooler, busier friends, and make them go see Eternal Sunlight of the Spotless Mind. It is amazingly awesome. How great you say? I came out of that movie on such a high, that I was freaking out all the people that just didn't get it, followed by making Tim carry me in circles around James, and then proceeding to take a running dive through the passenger side door in an attempt to do a backflip out the driver's window. Basically, that movie got me fucked up. It was good is what I'm trying to say. Not only did the movie make it a good night, but the best prank ever was pulled. I'm talking about epic level stuff here, heart wrenching, soul crushing drama turned against us. There isn't enough space on the internet to describe the fantasmagorical level of joy this brought to me, but it was amazingly well done, exquisitely acted out, and even properly received with revenge. This has led me to further urge my friends to come down to UNT with me, and just sit around teaching acting classes, because I was about to lose it I was so emotionally invested in this whole thing. It was a frickin roller coaster ride. But anyway, I could have just told you by now, and perhaps some day you will be that lucky, but until then you'll just have to wait won't you?
So earlier I was thinking of getting a voice recorder, because for some reason there has been some hilarious stuff coming out of me lately, but then I realized that as soon as I turn the damn thing on, everyone would just become speechless, or possibly worse, just become stupid morons and start recording audiobooks for books that never existed in the first place. That, and it would also catch all the cutting remarks that are made when I leave the room. "There goes a real sack of crap." See, that's not very nice, not nice at all. Your nice though, really, nice. So back to that movie, man, that guy, he just gets it man, when he's talking about just being happy, he's got it, that me all the time, I just want to be happy, not worry about any of the other stupid shit going on in the world, why bother when instead you can see people hit themselves with ice by falling onto it? Seriously though, go see it.

Tonight I have come to the conclusion that you can never really come home again, because the people that once also made their home there, and with which you had built up a nice community, no longer have homes there. The characteristics you've come to expect from your home, and the people that are there, have changed, or been diverted into another area, or it turns out where never really there to begin with. It becomes a terrible game of trying to catch and hold onto the past, only to have it slip out of your fingers as another major symbol of your life fades away, or is destroyed. Memories become generalizations, which then become lonely one-liners, reaching their tendrils out from the past, trying to pull you back in. So you let them, you drift back through time, and all you have are fuzzy images, and the past traps you into certain patterns that you can't break out of with simple little talks. Drastic action is required, ripping force, important decisions must be made, and only then can you truly stand unaffected by the ravages of time and change. This requires not being a nice guy, it requires being realistic, and honest with yourself. But if your the only one being honest, if everyone else is adding to the difficulty by making sure everything is coated in the fog of doubt, then those tendrils will tie you down and cut into you. The past will be impossible to enjoy, as you are forced to repeat the same patterns over and over again, until finally you have to cry out and simply run away. Well, I don't want to run away, I want some honesty, some down to earth, no bullshit, hey I'm supposed to be your friend who you can tell stuff to no matter what honesty. Forget feelings now, for a small wound over time can kill just as fast as a big one inflicted all at once. Let lives be lived knowing full well what is going on, and then, only then, can we all grow and be happy.

Ah, to be home again. Nothing really different, but minor little things that you don't think you'd notice are different. Stupid stuff like the colors of certain buildings. You also know when you are flying to El Paso, because half of the plane will be talking about their plans to immediately go to Chico's. Definitely going to have to squeeze that in when we go nerding it up on the east side. And bowling, bowling is a must. Lomaland, Lisa needs bowling. Excellent. I don't think I will ever forget it because of that stupid little quote. But hey, that's life, the stupider some of the stuff you say is, the more it will come back to haunt you when you are running for a minor political office, where you wouldn't think that it would matter that you used to throw ducks at old people while wearing nothing but a trenchcoat and speeding by in a Jeep that isn't safe for the road. Some people just won't let you have any fun.

Energy X, flowing through me! Don't you forget about me as I'm thrown into a vortex of classic 80's movie moments. All I see before me is people chasing each other around in leg warmers, but just ending up with the girl next door, the punked out best friend, or the reformed cool guy. It was a good time, it was the blurst of times. You stupid monkey. And now it's off to drive at dangerously slow speeds in my fancy red-and-white striped car. The glory days of real Star Wars fill me with Jedi pride. Ah, nerding was excellent, because if you looked like a freak, chances are that was the style at the time. Of course, that was if you could avoid burning your fancy pants while trying to do lighter tricks outside of your dorm room. Not like that happened though. Oh, and just to be sure everyone knows, *clears his throat* I've been *takes a drink of water* playing D&D. Now to see how long I can go --D&D-- without mentioning it again. Oh yeah, and a belated birthday to my main mom, my mom.

Today I was informed of something interesting that threatens my very purpose. Now, we all know that getting in shape is the hip thing to do, and pleasuring schladiez is something that I am particularly fond of, but if they knew about this, I would be left with little to do! They would be killing about nine birds with one stone. First of all, it's good exercise, second of all, it satisfies your inner womanly desires, third of all it allows for quick and easy transportation, and fourth, it shows off you nakedness to the world as you moan by. Catastrophe! This product must be kept off of the market, or at the very least, kept in front of my camera lens, so that everything an be properly catalogues and archived. Any volunteers, please contact me here. With proper research, and funding (see previous address) we can contain and possibly all benefit from this new invention. So now we just sit back and wait for the ladies with no action to come a messaging. You know who you are. I'll be waiting. Fine, I guess no one is going to send me anything, I'll just have to put the bike up on E-bay, and sell it to some old nasty Canadian lady. Hehe, abute.

Girls, all I really want is girls. Well, I guess women would be alright too, never know what they have learned along the way. So today there was more sleeping too long because of another excellent D&D session. To support this session of course, I need some more dice, but no new comics. Damn. Ah well, I'll probably be back there to get some more dice for no good reason in a few days anyway. Today we had the fun of a tornado whats-all-thising around near my place, which didn't make me nervous so much as tired of hearing the same warning 90 times as I waited in the stairwell. I mean, we are already there, so I think we know about the tornado warning. Thanks though, yep, heard that part too, yeah, good point. Alright, now turn the fuck off. The evening was not lost however, underneath a very blue sky and a fancy rainbow, a violin quartet strikes up in the distance. It's not really that far, but whatever. Instead of the accursed meal of brisket and mashed potatoes, I am greeted by a full staff of waiters, who promptly hand me an excellent piece of chicken, show me to a seat, and hand me some rolls and desert. Fancy. Dim lighting, classy music, white tablecloths, the time was right for love. Unfortunately, no love, but hey, chicken. That was one good piece of chicken, so I guess it's almost as good or better. Chicken can't talk. Excellent. "May I have your attention please, May I have your attention please, will the real whirlwind please stand up? Please stand up." God, that was terrible. To make up for that one here is an ascii drawing of me naked.

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Oh, the sheer gaming glory that is twelve hours of D&D, why did I ever partake of your deceitful everful mug of adventure? And now for the stumbling man's rendition of the entire night: "I cast magic missile, at the darkness!" No not really, but that did come up a few times, as well as plenty of drinking mead and carousing wenches. Ah, the high days of adventure are fantastic indeed. You would never think that a tiny bag of dice and a few lonely nerds could ever result in such a good time. For those of you who doubt, even I, Ebert, the great cool guy, now play D&D. This is a swing for nerds everywhere, and they will get their fancy Schladiez even easier now, using the power of their mighty male brains! And now, for the randomly determined closing remark: *rolls a 1, critical miss* Uh.... Beef Stew.

Alright, so now it's time to start doing things right again. No more sleeping during the day, and I'm gonna go to class. That should be fun right? Right? Come on, somebody back me up here. On the plus side it's almost spring break, and then I can slack off all I want. It'll be high times of the late night sort when the council reconvenes on El Paso. Minus Jacqui, cause we all know she won't be around anyway. Tonight there will be the ultimate glory of six hours of D&D, that's right ladies, I'm even more irresistible now that I am a full fledged college nerd. But you only get real hot chicks without any real substance, and they just want your help doing their homework, or to help them with their sexual inhibitions, something like that, I mean, nothing compared to the fun of rolling a bunch of dice to determine whether or not you balanced on your comrades body (who you killed) and then slashing at some shadow until it disappears and laughs at you. Ah, gaming glory at it's finest. And now I'm off to German, and to pick up my fancy case fans! Woot.