Well, wish me luck everyone, because today I am actually going to do it. I know what your all thinking, it will never happen, but it will, and is in the process of happening right now, and once you start there is no going back baby. Not once you've tasted the sweet sweet candy of the sun punching you in the face when you try to walk to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Coffee is awful, it is in no way a good beverage. It's chemical properties are simply wonderful, but there is something about roasted garbage served without anything to mask it's taste that doesn't quite agree with me. As a matter of fact, the only reason I drink coffee is for the caffeine that keeps me away for one more hour, one more glorious hour as I speed off down the road of insanity and a regular sleep rhythm. Because apparently it's bad to sleep till three everyday, and apparently getting a job, being responsible and not hookering yourself out to the highest (oh who are we kidding, any) bidder just for kicks. Today I go out into the world to fix several things.

#1: Why don't you have a job yet?
Well, I would like a real job, but I don't speak spanish or look hispanic. Because of this I am a liability to the company in today's pro-everything thats not white society. This goes along with why I can't get financial aid, free government money, or even matter in a survey about a damn crappy movie that will come out sometime far too soon, further destroying an unsuspecting public's trust in today's movie industry, thus promoting pirated DVD's, thus increasing my bottom line. Maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all. Wait, a steady couple of hundred every two weeks would be nicer then three bucks whenever someone decides they are too cheap to shell out a bit more for the nice packaging. Crap, caught in a corner again.

#2: No one really mentions this, but I could lose a few pounds.
This one is really easy: Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Tim. Ladies. Wait, scratch that fourth ladies, don't know where those gals have been.

#3: My sleeping problem.
As much fun as it is to drive myself insane finding busy work only to pussy out when the sun comes up, today will be different, and I will make it through the day. It will be fun, especially for everyone else when I start to collapse on top of everything. And say random crap. So I guess it will really just be like any other day anyway. Ah, except there are more empty cans all around me, no matter where I go, empty cans. Tragic really. Now I have to recycle those cans, and how would you feel knowing that you will always just be the same thing? Either a can of soda from some bastard kid, or a quick trip from reality for some poor hobo. But that's not the end, because hobo recycling works a bit different. See, they fill their cans back up all on their own and keep that magic fluid in their boxes with them so that the government doesn't try to steal their crazies back. So yeah, the life of a can. Think about it. Well, you don't really have a choice now, I just made you. (There you go little buddy, I got them back for you, now we are even for me hiding that dead hooker inside you)

#4: Why don't you update the blog anymore?
Well, that is a good question. I'm not sure. But hey, this is one of the biggest posts every, not counting that continual stream of hate about UPS, but they are a special exception. I use the short keyboard to write about them, it has special restraints to keep me from smashing everything into everything else. So everyone, I suppose it really depends on how often I plan on slamming back five oversized energy drinks and a pot of coffee. From all the fun killing my heart and sweating too much I am having right now, it may not be as often as we all hope, but hey, not all posts have to be this cynical right? Right.

#5: Is there something on your mind?
Yes. And we all know. The problem here is, I tend to think very philosophical, which is good, but there is this tiny little filter called logic that gets in the way. It's like, while I'm looking at the big picture and ahead into the future, I miss out on all the little details that will get me there. And that logic my friends is what turns into regret, so lets all have a good time drowning our logic with beer, or love. Both do a very good job, although only one will eventually get you some action. I'm talking about love you stupid booze-jockies, but nice try, alcohol does give you the nice delusion of a slim chance of getting action. Ah the action doesn't even matter, it's just nice. Well, very nice, but I think we all make much too big a deal out of it. Or not enough of a big deal, I forget how it works sometimes.

#6: Can't think of number six can you?
Haha! In a tribute to my Jewish friends, I will rest on number 6, and work on seven. This one is for you Daniel, avoid all those exploding buses, or camels, or whatever the hell they are blowing up over there now a days.

#7: Is this thing ever going to end?
Yes. I leave you with this great thought: Banana Hammock.