So my friend Mike and I were talking, the Mike of boxcar and heist notoriety, and an interesting idea was presented. I now present you with the pilot episode of "Breakfast With My Ex-es."

Opening scene, early morning at the Village Inn that we always go to. You see Ebert sitting at a table, waiting anxiously for someone to arrive. Aubrey strolls in first and sits down across from me in the booth.

Aubrey: So yeah, blah blah blah blah blah, some guy I'm dating whose way too old, and some stupid story about my ranch.

Ebert: Well, that sounds great. Hang on a second, I can't believe who just walked in.


The water slowly begins to shake as someone enters the building. A dash of red hair, and we all know right away that it's Misty. She attempts to squeeze into the booth but fails, instead opting to stand, a dumb smile lights up her face as she sees Aubrey.

Misty: Oh, hey Aubrey. I don't eat meat because of mad cow disease.

Misty precedes to stuff several cheeseburgers into her mouth, happy with the current situation. At this moment headlights flash into my eyes and Sabrina storms in.

Sabrina: I can't believe this.

Sabrina begins to cry and runs out, jumps into her car and angrily drives away, she then leaves several messages on my machine. Meanwhile, Misty has grown tired of not being able to fit in the booth, and a squad of suited gentlemen rush in and quickly escort her away to some fat camp that will do no good. The door swings shut, and it is once again just Aubrey and I. She looks to me and says.

Aubrey: Well, I'm a whore and have nothing to do tonight, wanna go fool around?

The End.