Ah yes, to be back in the swing of things here in El Paso. Nothing ever really changes, not one little bit. Good times, good people, crazy late nights, lonely drives home, it is all about the same. I guess maybe that is why it is so nice to come home, you get a chance to go back to the way things were. I'd say back to simpler times, but that isn't usually the case. Today I spent several hours watching a simple blue screen on TV that said: "This station is having problems or has signed off" The real question here is, which one? After about half an hour of watching this blue screen, a show did actually show up, sort of phased in actually, some sort of reality church life program. Didn't see too much of it, because there must have been some sort of epic battle down at the station about whether or not to show this, because it was later revealed that the pastor was in fact a lesbian! Oh the outrage! After this revelation, the station immediately began experiencing "problems" again, and did not return. So it was off onto the road once more. The same streets gliding by beneath my worn out wheels. The pain of driving becomes very apparent when your the one doing it all the time. Despite the vast improvement in my mood from earlier today, the drive home still hammers a bit of something else into me. Tomorrow however is another day, and no matter what, I am destined to start it off with optimism and hope, just like ever other day. If only the night and day could talk to each other, then they would both know what was really going on, and have a good laugh at my expense.

Well it sure has been a while, but I have been so very busy. Busy hating Christmas. Yes, it is true, I very much hate this holiday, but it had turned out all right. Today was fun at least, got a bit drunk with Tim and a couple of other people and some crazy Germans who were busy partying downstairs. It was excellent. In fact, aside from some slight yelling, the holiday really hasn't been that bad. Besides, I have a special new friend that no one will ever see, and that is always good, and on top of that, I got some sweet loot for Christmas, as well as some sweet loot in World of Warcraft lately. Yes, it is all working out very well. Now what would really top it off is one of my pictures selling at Art Six, and the season would be complete. I am recovering from surgery quite well, because I figure as soon as you can drink you are doing pretty well. I'm not too sure about skiing yet, but we shall see, it will at least be very entertaining with a house full of Germans. Those guys are so very crazy, and efficient. And if you have efficiency, you really don't need anything else, in fact, there is no room for anything else, so why doesn't everyone just back off! Yeah, besides, it's time for some excellent creamy Simpson's nougat, it really is like creamy filling because it is Season 5, and that is when the show was just oh so good, I couldn't help but watch several times a day. A much better situation then as compared to now. I haven't watched an episode of crapppy schlock in at least three months. Oh how I miss the good old days of classic television that rotted your brain away, and was in no way safe for your children to watch, but you just didn't know any better. Long live old television, and down with new Bad Sci-Fi!

Ah yes, to be home once more. While everyone else still sits at school and worries about finals, I am at home, getting my belly sliced open. In a good way though, it's surgery. That will happen on Wednesday, and I should be fine by the end of the day, so maybe I'll go bowling with Tim. Excellent. Other then that it has been pretty quiet around here, since no one is in town yet there isn't too much to do, seeing as how I only know about five people. That is alright too though, because I can feed my wonderful World of Warcraft addiction. It has something that City of Heroes just never really had, and that was swag. Sure, killing things is great, but it is even better if you can loot some money and cool stuff off of it afterwards. So yes, that is what I have been doing. Playing WoW. Not much else. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go.... ummmm..... rearrange some desktop icons, yeah that's it.

Well this weekend was a bust. It really isn't, because I did do better then ever before, but the final disappointment tends to overtake anything else. Auditions were on Thursday, which I have been preparing for all week, pulling several all night sessions and ditching all of my classes on Thursday just to make sure I would be ready for them. And the auditions went well, I wasn't as terribly nervous, I remembered almost all of my monologue, and left feeling pretty damn good. The callbacks went up an hour later and I was on them. That made me feel real good, because it meant I had done something right, it was a step in the right direction. However, the callbacks themselves were hellish. On Friday I jolt out of bed and flip because I thought it was very late in the afternoon and I had missed my voice class, (which I can't miss or I'll fail) the last of my electrics hours, (for which the same is true) and the callbacks themselves. Luckily it turned out to only be eight thirty in the morning, but the shock, that sucked. So I pretty much spent the entire morning in the theater building, trimming the 2nd electric so that the instruments don't slam into the ground when we take it all the way in, and right about when we finished that, everyone started coming into the theater for Eternal Romeo and Juliet callbacks, so I took my seat, got my copy of the script I was to read from, and went outside to wait in the lobby. For five hours. At the end of this five hours, they started to send everyone home, because they knew that this wasn't going to get finished today. As fun as it is to hang out with theater people, they get a bit old after five hours. So they call us in, the very last group to go that day, we read through once, and that is that, thank you, come back tomorrow at nine in the morning. So I drag myself home, play a bit of Pirates!, look over the script some more, and pass the fuck out around eleven thirty. I wander on down to the theater building this morning, and the same thing again. I sit and wait for three hours before the stage manager comes out, hands me a different script, in which I will be reading for one of the leads. This of course is not because I am being considered for that part, but simply because they figure they will humor me and give me something to do. After that I am sent home. The cast list goes up at five, and I have not been chosen to play anything. As I feared the five males competing for the lead have been pushed down into other roles, and as a result skewed my calculations on how many male roles where available. I am never one to diminish my own accomplishments, but the callback was a tremendous waste of my time. Of course, I didn't have anything else to do, but if I hadn't been called back I could have at least known right away, but no, instead they let me sit around for eight hours in that damn lobby thinking that I actually have a shot. Oh well, there is always next year, which means I have all of next semester and the entire summer to prepare something. Wonderful. So yet another year goes by where I only go on stage when I am carrying a wrench, or something needs to be moved. But hey, I got called back at least right? Right?

The ridiculousness of the women around me continues to grow. Patient as I may be with people I care about, this is truly wearing very thin. This event has made me even more tired and confused, and as a result I almost fell asleep on my keyboard just now. It is time I moved on over to my nice comfortable futon, who gives so much and asks so little in return, and rest my weary soul.

So here I sit, the end of another 36 hour marathon of staying awake. Although this one did have a purpose. I spent 11 of those hours in the theater building, or right outside of it, and the rest of them working on what needed to be done in the theater building. So I predict that I will last at the most another hour or two, then I will pass out until early tomorrow morning, when I will begin work anew on my contemporary monologue. Apparently there is a shortage of males auditioning this year, and as a result the chances of being cast are substantially increased by simply attending and showing them that you exist. Excellent. That should make next year very very busy. Although I would be perfectly happy just getting a callback, because that is at least a step in the right direction. Woot, theater! Unfortunately, my voice monologue did not go as well as planned, despite my having run through it about thirty times before hand. Oh well, can't win them all, there is always the final next week. Ugh, finals, at least they will all be over by this time next week, and I can go home nice and early and relax. Mmmmm, relaxing, even if it is in a hospital bed, is wonderful. Winter break should be a lot of fun. It seems my thoughts have been reduced to simple sentence ideas that don't really hold together, so I shall away fly from this noble keyboard, 'fore I make more of a fool of myself.

Well, so very much has happened lately. Good good times had all around, lots of crazy rantings and ravings over the phone, many sleepless hours spent on memorizing things, that I sadly immediately forget once I am actually in front of everyone, but it is all good, because I still have a few hours until my rehearsal, which is sometime tomorrow night, and by then I should be able to pick out and memorize a contemporary monologue. The hookah was taken away, and will remain away until the end of the year, when I am allowed to take it home, and never bring it back, because of some new rule all because hookahs have become oh so popular, so that has to ruin it for the rest of us. Oh well. Back to Bagherri's it is I suppose. Lousy over-priced non-Al-Fakhar tobacco. Perhaps it is for the best. I recorded the crazy conversation I had last night, which was really just me yelling at Bruce for a few hours, and perhaps I shall transplant it into text on the interweb someday, but until then, just take my word for it. And now I'm off to the theater building yet again, which I have left for only fifteen minutes since about eight this morning, and shall not leave again until eight tonight, because everything for some reason has come down to this moment, this week. Everything happens right now, and that kinda sucks. On the other hand, the weekend is soon, and I am almost going home again, for nice restful spells of doing nothing at all. Wonderful. Well, thank you for entertaining conjecture of a time, it has been fun, and when I type I can take as long as I want to put down the next thing, and no one is the wiser. If only I weren't so damn nervous all of the time. Ridiculous, a nervous actor. It angers me greatly. Perhaps I can draw upon that for this next scene. And thus the cycle continues.